Its interesting in the queer world to find a guy who isnt in it just for the shag. I am one of those queers and trust me when I say we are few and far in between. Most dont even care to know your name, this is how shallow queer culture is. Jonathon, my newest "friend", seems to be this type as well. We have gone on a few dates, 3 maybe, we talk to some capacity just about everyday. Last week we walked into work together which was a nice start to my day. Fearing that I may like Jonathon more than I should, I fessed up to liking him, that I fear that I could fall for him. Now I am out of a long term relationship and am not really looking for anything other than friendship. The saying that when you least expect it, it will happen, is sorta showing its face in my direction, and as much as I enjoy Jonathon, I dont want it to be like this. We were talkin about enjoying each others company, about being comfortable with each other. I confessed my feeling of, "was I just there to get off with you when we did the things we did" - to which I was told no. That he wouldnt have walked into work with me, if I was just a lay. There is some comfort in this I suppose. I think there is alot I need to learn about Jonathon as well, as he has to learn about me. He says he does think of me, I think random text messages, sorta proves that. Im afraid to ask if we are "casually dating" as I myself dont know what this means. I go on to friends about not dating, that I dont date, and then Jonathon creeps into my life.
Jonathon has the deepest blue eyes, to which he says haunted him for years - apparently being teased as it does look like he has eyeliner on, when in fact he doesnt. The nights spent on my balcony with Jonathon, were so romantic, but Ive started to pull away. I dont want to be the chaser, I dont want to be bugging him. It is nice to hear things, like he does like me and will definitely see me again. There is some comfort in that. I completely understand not jumping into anything as that scares me as well, and this too I fessed up to Jonathon. Asked why I like him...That is a question I can only answer with, "there is something about you" that is the best answer I can give as its the truth. I think our age difference shows in certain things. But in general with guys, there are certain things I dont care about. I dont care about your income, your clothes or your job for that matter. What I do care about, or look for in both friends and lovers, is genuine honest. So long as I have that with someone, it is all good. Should there be a physical attraction, thats just one up.
With Jonathon, there is a strong feeling of liking him, I hold back as I scare myself, but he has made it a bit more comfortable. Now if they are just words he is saying to appease me, then I will discover this in time. All I can do for the moment is live day to day as if nothing and see how this unfolds. Im up for the challenge, but like Jonathon, I fear, getting hurt. I cant go through that so early after I was dealt the worst hand with my last relationship, just over a year back. I am over the ex, I have moved on and thank god that Ive met some wonderful people since, Jonathon included. Lets see where this chapter goes, how it plays out. Caution at all time and walls up...
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
THINGS TO GET USED TO...
Ok well one thing that is different these days is, "timing".
When I used to go clubbing back in the day, I would leave my place at about 9:30 and start my night of ridiculousness. These days it seems people venture out past 10:30 - 11 if not later. I had a "date" with Jonathon this evening. It is only 9pm, so it is still early, by downtown standards, so anything could really happen still. Regardless, I have given up on the evening. I never know what to think or do for that matter. I'm the kind of person who, when I know I have plans, I get myself together, and then usually wait. So hours will pass and I wait. I do pissy little things here and there to pass the time, but boredom sets in easily. Then when a certain time passes, I start to get antsy. Feelings of, "its not gonna happen", filter through my thoughts. I wonder why it didnt happen. I know Jonathon will at least call me later on, unless he is passed out. I would love for the phone to ring and jump and go, not sure thought. At the same time, due to last nights drinks and dinner out, today I feel off. A night in is what I really need. Maybe this was a good thing....:)
x
When I used to go clubbing back in the day, I would leave my place at about 9:30 and start my night of ridiculousness. These days it seems people venture out past 10:30 - 11 if not later. I had a "date" with Jonathon this evening. It is only 9pm, so it is still early, by downtown standards, so anything could really happen still. Regardless, I have given up on the evening. I never know what to think or do for that matter. I'm the kind of person who, when I know I have plans, I get myself together, and then usually wait. So hours will pass and I wait. I do pissy little things here and there to pass the time, but boredom sets in easily. Then when a certain time passes, I start to get antsy. Feelings of, "its not gonna happen", filter through my thoughts. I wonder why it didnt happen. I know Jonathon will at least call me later on, unless he is passed out. I would love for the phone to ring and jump and go, not sure thought. At the same time, due to last nights drinks and dinner out, today I feel off. A night in is what I really need. Maybe this was a good thing....:)
x
Monday, August 2, 2010
MAY CONTAIN EXPLICTITIES
PART II
Jonny and I made plans to get together on the Sunday of that weekend. At about 10:30 or so, we met up at the same place we had gone previously. He had had a bad day at work. Working longer than he thought, and then apparently getting stressed with a new co worker, as he is new to his workplace. Anyways, we ordered drinks and he went off about work. I told him after a half hour of it or so, that it was time to let it go, and forget it, enjoy the evening, the company and such. He at one point, asked me to bring my lips closer to his. I was confused at first, but picked up fast. We had 2 drinks and then he went on about being peckish. I said we should order a bite and he declined. I said we'd go grab some ready made sandwiches at the corner store and eat up on the balcony. One of the advantages of living right in the "village". Up we went, grabbed seats on the balcony and ate as we chatted. I told him, as I stood by the balcony railing looking down, how I thought he was gonna ditch me cuz it was later than I expected, when he called, and when we got together. He came up behind me, and we went on. Chatted about dating, how I would like to know how one gets to spend more time with him. I was being coy and subtle. we made out in between conversations. We once again ended up on my sofa, being all naughty and shit. Going for a shot of vodka in between making out and talking. Things quickly got rude and asked to go to the bedroom and off we went. Laying in bed, touching, feeling, playing with each other was so erotic. It was almost pornographic in my mind. I couldnt believe he came back to me a second time. That I think he really wanted to be with me. Its funny how its not me initiating allot of this, like he is into me in many ways and I into him. In bed he is a top, I am versatile. In bed, with him on his back, I got on top of him, rubbing myself against him. Grabbing him and sliding him across my butt, all the while falling forward to kiss his lips...hearing him moan, feeling him move under me was intense. His hand on my body, grabbing me and pushing our bodies together was hot. He wanted me to cum this time as I didnt the last time. Going down on a guy is one of the best ways to for me to come to full pleasure and so I obliged. I fulfilled his request - all over his chest face and surrounding areas. He said it was hot, how he has an oral fixation, hmmm. Eventually we got out of bed and went to the balcony for a fag, both of us in towel. He told me about things in his past, pets is a big conversation piece, family, friends and such. He came and sat on me as he smoked a cigarette. It was nice to think he was comfortable enough to do so. He does this "zerbert" kind of kiss which is sweet, its cute. Its nice that he does it to me as it seems something personal, something you would do to someone if youve known them a while etc..its hard to explain ha! Anyways, he dropped his towel as he went inside, heading to the bedroom to get dressed to go. I followed and lay on the bed, in my towel as he got dressed. Once fully dressed, I grabbed him and threw him on top of me, kissing his lips. I love when he gets rough with the kissing, hot. He saw I was aroused through my towel and went for it. It was awesome! I soon found him aroused. Him telling me how he was now horny and unzipped his jeans and slid them down. He has such a nice cock. Off he went and played as we kissed, me helping sometimes with my tongue and lips. He came all over me and we kissed some more. He wiped me down and we went to the balcony to smoke and talk. He started to get ready to go and and sat on the floor to put on his shoes, and I joined him. We sat and chatted for a bit telling stories etc. Up we go and he heads out the door..I dont know why, but he pulled out his camera and started showing me picks of his dogs and such. It was nice, him sharing that with me. He kissed me good bye and said he would call. I wonder what of the conversation we had yesterday about "dating" he meant. Im pleased with myself that I took the chance and met up with him,. I told him I so look forward to seeing him and I do. Hes different, a different type of person than I normally would think I would like to be with. Its strange to me how he likes me too. I always worry which is dumb. Its strange. I feel like I put allot of effort in to how I look when I go out. When its washed out or combed out or undressed, its different. Its almost as if Im out of drag, So waking up next to Jonny was a bit nerve racking but its not as if he didnt enjoy my body, which was flattering to me and a bit of a boost. His body is nice to touch and feel and see...His one downfall are his nails. He bites his nails which I really hate. I have to see what goes on between us and then have my say on that. Sounds odd, but...
A total surprised with Jonny, lets see what tomorrow brings
x
Jonny and I made plans to get together on the Sunday of that weekend. At about 10:30 or so, we met up at the same place we had gone previously. He had had a bad day at work. Working longer than he thought, and then apparently getting stressed with a new co worker, as he is new to his workplace. Anyways, we ordered drinks and he went off about work. I told him after a half hour of it or so, that it was time to let it go, and forget it, enjoy the evening, the company and such. He at one point, asked me to bring my lips closer to his. I was confused at first, but picked up fast. We had 2 drinks and then he went on about being peckish. I said we should order a bite and he declined. I said we'd go grab some ready made sandwiches at the corner store and eat up on the balcony. One of the advantages of living right in the "village". Up we went, grabbed seats on the balcony and ate as we chatted. I told him, as I stood by the balcony railing looking down, how I thought he was gonna ditch me cuz it was later than I expected, when he called, and when we got together. He came up behind me, and we went on. Chatted about dating, how I would like to know how one gets to spend more time with him. I was being coy and subtle. we made out in between conversations. We once again ended up on my sofa, being all naughty and shit. Going for a shot of vodka in between making out and talking. Things quickly got rude and asked to go to the bedroom and off we went. Laying in bed, touching, feeling, playing with each other was so erotic. It was almost pornographic in my mind. I couldnt believe he came back to me a second time. That I think he really wanted to be with me. Its funny how its not me initiating allot of this, like he is into me in many ways and I into him. In bed he is a top, I am versatile. In bed, with him on his back, I got on top of him, rubbing myself against him. Grabbing him and sliding him across my butt, all the while falling forward to kiss his lips...hearing him moan, feeling him move under me was intense. His hand on my body, grabbing me and pushing our bodies together was hot. He wanted me to cum this time as I didnt the last time. Going down on a guy is one of the best ways to for me to come to full pleasure and so I obliged. I fulfilled his request - all over his chest face and surrounding areas. He said it was hot, how he has an oral fixation, hmmm. Eventually we got out of bed and went to the balcony for a fag, both of us in towel. He told me about things in his past, pets is a big conversation piece, family, friends and such. He came and sat on me as he smoked a cigarette. It was nice to think he was comfortable enough to do so. He does this "zerbert" kind of kiss which is sweet, its cute. Its nice that he does it to me as it seems something personal, something you would do to someone if youve known them a while etc..its hard to explain ha! Anyways, he dropped his towel as he went inside, heading to the bedroom to get dressed to go. I followed and lay on the bed, in my towel as he got dressed. Once fully dressed, I grabbed him and threw him on top of me, kissing his lips. I love when he gets rough with the kissing, hot. He saw I was aroused through my towel and went for it. It was awesome! I soon found him aroused. Him telling me how he was now horny and unzipped his jeans and slid them down. He has such a nice cock. Off he went and played as we kissed, me helping sometimes with my tongue and lips. He came all over me and we kissed some more. He wiped me down and we went to the balcony to smoke and talk. He started to get ready to go and and sat on the floor to put on his shoes, and I joined him. We sat and chatted for a bit telling stories etc. Up we go and he heads out the door..I dont know why, but he pulled out his camera and started showing me picks of his dogs and such. It was nice, him sharing that with me. He kissed me good bye and said he would call. I wonder what of the conversation we had yesterday about "dating" he meant. Im pleased with myself that I took the chance and met up with him,. I told him I so look forward to seeing him and I do. Hes different, a different type of person than I normally would think I would like to be with. Its strange to me how he likes me too. I always worry which is dumb. Its strange. I feel like I put allot of effort in to how I look when I go out. When its washed out or combed out or undressed, its different. Its almost as if Im out of drag, So waking up next to Jonny was a bit nerve racking but its not as if he didnt enjoy my body, which was flattering to me and a bit of a boost. His body is nice to touch and feel and see...His one downfall are his nails. He bites his nails which I really hate. I have to see what goes on between us and then have my say on that. Sounds odd, but...
A total surprised with Jonny, lets see what tomorrow brings
x
MAY CONTAIN EXPLICTITIES :P
PART I
Finding friends in the area, is sort of something I look into. Ive met the odd one here and there via social networking gadgets and such.
Recently, though Grider, an I-Phone app, I was messages by a guy, Jonny. I took the him up on his offer of meeting, he seemed decent enough and twistedly witty. After messaging a bit here and there over 2, 3 days, we set a date to meet. I go to meet him at the corner of my street, which is the pub we were meeting up. We grab a table in the back of the patio. We sat across each other. Me on the bench end seating and Jonathon across from me. Our conversation went well. We laughed here and there, sipping back our drinks. After about 2 beers, Jonny gets up and places himself right next to me on he bench. His arms going around me. To say I was shocked was an understatement, but I played on. He was so close to me, I went for it and gave him a kiss. I knew it was heading in that direction, so I why waste time? He has great blue eyes, and nice lips. And so it started. He was running his hands up my thoughs, to which he eventually discovered how aroused he was making me. We grabbed the bill and headed to my place. I never do that. It was the first. On the balcony for a smoke, we made out. Eventually finding our way onto the sofa. He ran his hands over my crotch, which was rock hard at this point. Undoing my pants and enjoying me, while we kissed so passionately. Eventually to my room we went, more mutual playing and pleasures, eventually to fall asleep. Waking up in the morning, I was a bit thrown off at the events that took place only a few hours back. I grabbed a pair of shorts and went to grab a coffee as he lay in my bed. When I left him, he was sleeping on his tummy. I went for my coffee and grabbed a cigarette and headed to the balcony. After about 15 minutes or so, I went back to my room to find him laying on his back...I crept in bed next to him and kissed him, which woke him up. He was startled at being naked in my bed while I wore shorts. We started our morning making out. He went to tell me how horny he is in the morning. The just started a passionate session of enjoying each others bodies. Eventually we got up, out of bed and stepped outside for a smoke, ending up laying on my couch. Me laying across and Jonnys back to me, sitting in front of me, cuddled up. Was a nice moment. Him turning to kiss me, He was massaging me, through my shorts as he played with himself. Commenting on my size and natural juices. He exploded all over my stomach. Was so hot, his cum was so warm on me, a turn on. Was so nice that he liked my body and parts. He liked me. It wasnt some one night, thanks and good by deals. We talked allot. We laughed at silliness. About an hour later or so, he got changed as did I to go downstairs. We kept going to each other, embracing, kissing, touching. Time with him is so erotic. We went down, grabbed smokes and I took a seat on a foot step next to the smoke shop. We talked for an hour or so, was nice. He had to get going. This was about 2 in the afternoon. He came with me to buy smokes and headed to the apt. He offered to go with me, accompany me home. We were in front of my bldg for about another 45 minutes, just talking. It was nice. I nice ending to that encounter. We kept in touch, making plans to get together again. Telling each other that we both had a great time.
Finding friends in the area, is sort of something I look into. Ive met the odd one here and there via social networking gadgets and such.
Recently, though Grider, an I-Phone app, I was messages by a guy, Jonny. I took the him up on his offer of meeting, he seemed decent enough and twistedly witty. After messaging a bit here and there over 2, 3 days, we set a date to meet. I go to meet him at the corner of my street, which is the pub we were meeting up. We grab a table in the back of the patio. We sat across each other. Me on the bench end seating and Jonathon across from me. Our conversation went well. We laughed here and there, sipping back our drinks. After about 2 beers, Jonny gets up and places himself right next to me on he bench. His arms going around me. To say I was shocked was an understatement, but I played on. He was so close to me, I went for it and gave him a kiss. I knew it was heading in that direction, so I why waste time? He has great blue eyes, and nice lips. And so it started. He was running his hands up my thoughs, to which he eventually discovered how aroused he was making me. We grabbed the bill and headed to my place. I never do that. It was the first. On the balcony for a smoke, we made out. Eventually finding our way onto the sofa. He ran his hands over my crotch, which was rock hard at this point. Undoing my pants and enjoying me, while we kissed so passionately. Eventually to my room we went, more mutual playing and pleasures, eventually to fall asleep. Waking up in the morning, I was a bit thrown off at the events that took place only a few hours back. I grabbed a pair of shorts and went to grab a coffee as he lay in my bed. When I left him, he was sleeping on his tummy. I went for my coffee and grabbed a cigarette and headed to the balcony. After about 15 minutes or so, I went back to my room to find him laying on his back...I crept in bed next to him and kissed him, which woke him up. He was startled at being naked in my bed while I wore shorts. We started our morning making out. He went to tell me how horny he is in the morning. The just started a passionate session of enjoying each others bodies. Eventually we got up, out of bed and stepped outside for a smoke, ending up laying on my couch. Me laying across and Jonnys back to me, sitting in front of me, cuddled up. Was a nice moment. Him turning to kiss me, He was massaging me, through my shorts as he played with himself. Commenting on my size and natural juices. He exploded all over my stomach. Was so hot, his cum was so warm on me, a turn on. Was so nice that he liked my body and parts. He liked me. It wasnt some one night, thanks and good by deals. We talked allot. We laughed at silliness. About an hour later or so, he got changed as did I to go downstairs. We kept going to each other, embracing, kissing, touching. Time with him is so erotic. We went down, grabbed smokes and I took a seat on a foot step next to the smoke shop. We talked for an hour or so, was nice. He had to get going. This was about 2 in the afternoon. He came with me to buy smokes and headed to the apt. He offered to go with me, accompany me home. We were in front of my bldg for about another 45 minutes, just talking. It was nice. I nice ending to that encounter. We kept in touch, making plans to get together again. Telling each other that we both had a great time.
IT STARTS
This starts a new chapter in my life.
20 years ago I lived in this very area. I am in the heart of Toronto's queer village. This part of town, would never in a million years, be the part of town I would ever live in again. Interesting though how when I was looking for a new place to live, under my criteria, this area would crop up. After humming and ha-ing, I took on the challenge and it has now been 2 months in. It is much different than my last apartment, the energy is different. Life is more expensive, but I'm trying to cut certain things out, cut corners, though I still treat myself fairly well, which in itself doesn't really help. Regardless, little things happen here and there, the odd adventure or drama. person trials, tribulations, ups, downs etc etc. This is about my life, my little world I'm happy in, good, bad or otherwise.
KEEP IT COMING
x
20 years ago I lived in this very area. I am in the heart of Toronto's queer village. This part of town, would never in a million years, be the part of town I would ever live in again. Interesting though how when I was looking for a new place to live, under my criteria, this area would crop up. After humming and ha-ing, I took on the challenge and it has now been 2 months in. It is much different than my last apartment, the energy is different. Life is more expensive, but I'm trying to cut certain things out, cut corners, though I still treat myself fairly well, which in itself doesn't really help. Regardless, little things happen here and there, the odd adventure or drama. person trials, tribulations, ups, downs etc etc. This is about my life, my little world I'm happy in, good, bad or otherwise.
KEEP IT COMING
x
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